A Visit Back in Time

Hi Mom, Today I did something some might say is pretty dumb. I really needed to hear your voice, so I decided to listen to some of our digital recordings from when you were first diagnosed in the hospital and we recorded our discussions with the doctor. It was so heartbreaking Mom. Knowing what we know now, it's just so sad to listen to those desperate, confused people on those recordings, grasping for any shred of hope that you could be cured. I felt so many emotions as I went back in time to August 2006... sadness, desperation, anger, confusion. Hearing myself break down in sobs as YOU, the cancer patient, comforted ME was almost too much to bear. But there were snippets of that recording that I don't remember, words of peace from you that really comforted me as I relived that nightmare for a few minutes. As we sat reeling from the realization that you had stage 4 pancreatic cancer that had spread to your liver, you said to us "I prayed last night and I said you know what? I've been blessed already, so much in my life, I don't need any more blessings. If I get them and when I get them, that's great, but I don't need anymore, I've had plenty of blessings. I have six kids, I've got a great husband, I've got grandkids, I'm happy... you can't have everything". It was so simple, and grateful, and beautiful, my heart almost burst with pride that you are my mom. There could never be another person as amazing as you on this earth, how did I get so lucky to call you Mom? It was hard to relive what was literally my darkest hour in life to date. But it was also encouraging, and eye opening, and once again you taught me to be grateful for each day God gives me, and every blessing in my life. I love you so much Mom. Thank you for continuing to teach me things to this day. You are a very special angel. Love, Becky