Weekend Update

So much has changed since we last updated this blog. On Thursday of last week, the very difficult decision was made to officially have mom be put on hospice. The doctors were saying that the chemo was not doing much good, and the physical price that mom was paying was too much. Basically, what that means is that mom will stop taking all medication except for those things that make her comfortable. In other words, we are left giving her morphine when she needs it for pain, and some sleeping pills, when she needs to sleep.

Unfortunately, mom's condition has detioriated rather rapidly since she came home from the hospital on Tuesday. She has pretty much stopped eating all solid foods and even drinking has become quite a chore for her. We have had to switch her morphine medication to liquid form because swallowing pills has become much too difficult for her. With the discontinuation of some of the other medications, mom's ammonia levels have gradually increased again, which is causing some disoriented and confusion. She still is recongnizing faces, remembering names, and will even whisper an "I love you" when she sees new people. The thing I've learned about cancer through all this is that it doesn't take away your will to fight, it takes away your ability to fight.

While mom could not be at Becky and Rocky's wedding in person this past Friday, she was all over the place in spirit. Friday was probably the worst day mom has had physically since the original diagnosis, but she was still able to give Becky a big smile and wanted her corsage pinned on her before Becky left for the wedding. Whether it was mom's presence during the lighting of the Unity Candles, or during my sister Cathi's inspired speech at the reception, or during Bill Hayes's prayer before dinner, mom's presence was felt and embraced. I think that even the people there who had never met mom walked away with some idea of what a truly special woman she is. I also just wanted to say how proud I am of my sister and my new brother-in-law. This entire process has been extremely difficult for them, but somehow they both exhibited the selflessness and grace to show their grief and joy that they were both feeling throughout the past few weeks.

No one knows how much time mom has left on this earth. She is surrounded by love and everyone is doing all they can to make sure her days are spent as comfortable as possible. We are no longer going to have a hired nurse help with mom. Family will be with her 24 hours a day for as long as it is needed. When her eyes open, she will be greeted by the face of someone she knows and loves. We really can't think of anything else we can do right now. Please pray for mom's comfort.