Good-bye, for now
First off, I would just like to thank everyone who showed our family so much support over the past few months. It has been almost exactly two months since my mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. During that time, we have gone through every emotion possible, and unfortunately, it has ended with extreme sadness. All I keep telling people is that we thank God that we had a two month warning that mom was leaving us. I don't think anyone was ready to see her go, and if it would have happened suddenly, it would have been devastating for a lot of people. I thank God we had two months to prepare ourselves.
We were all absolutely floored at the funeral as we saw tangible proof of just how many lives mom has touched. The funeral home where the memorial service was held, was literally busting at the seams as the crowd overflowed into the adjacent chapels. I think the service was exactly what mom would have wanted: Jesus-centered, just as she lived her life.
During the past few days, I cannot even count the amount of times that people have asked me if I would be OK. The answer, of course is yes. I think everyone in my family will eventually be OK. However, this experience has changed each of our lives in a countless number of ways. It's just inevitable when you lose someone who touched so many different parts of your life.
For me, my mom was my security blanket. No matter what happened to me, I knew that everything would be OK, and all it would take is a phone call to my mom. I no longer have that luxury. It was one-stop-shopping with my mom. The one person I could turn to, no matter what, and get what I needed.
She was my doctor when I was feeling sick. She was the pediatrician when the babies just wouldn't fall asleep at night. She was my #1 cheerleader at the marathon. She was Miss Hannegan when my daughter wanted to play Annie. She was my social planner for all the family events. She was my friend when I needed to vent. She was my handyman, when I just couldn't get something to work. She was my chef, every Tuesday night for dinner. She was my minister when I had doubts. She was my sounding board when I just couldn't figure something out. But most importantly, she was my mom, every day of my life.
Will I be OK? Yes, I will be, but I won't be the same. It just isn't possible. I love you mom and I miss you. Thankfully, this isn't a good-bye. I will see you again someday.
We were all absolutely floored at the funeral as we saw tangible proof of just how many lives mom has touched. The funeral home where the memorial service was held, was literally busting at the seams as the crowd overflowed into the adjacent chapels. I think the service was exactly what mom would have wanted: Jesus-centered, just as she lived her life.
During the past few days, I cannot even count the amount of times that people have asked me if I would be OK. The answer, of course is yes. I think everyone in my family will eventually be OK. However, this experience has changed each of our lives in a countless number of ways. It's just inevitable when you lose someone who touched so many different parts of your life.
For me, my mom was my security blanket. No matter what happened to me, I knew that everything would be OK, and all it would take is a phone call to my mom. I no longer have that luxury. It was one-stop-shopping with my mom. The one person I could turn to, no matter what, and get what I needed.
She was my doctor when I was feeling sick. She was the pediatrician when the babies just wouldn't fall asleep at night. She was my #1 cheerleader at the marathon. She was Miss Hannegan when my daughter wanted to play Annie. She was my social planner for all the family events. She was my friend when I needed to vent. She was my handyman, when I just couldn't get something to work. She was my chef, every Tuesday night for dinner. She was my minister when I had doubts. She was my sounding board when I just couldn't figure something out. But most importantly, she was my mom, every day of my life.
Will I be OK? Yes, I will be, but I won't be the same. It just isn't possible. I love you mom and I miss you. Thankfully, this isn't a good-bye. I will see you again someday.
posted by Greg | 9:50 AM
8 Comments:
Just reading what you posted has moved me profoundly. I cannot fathom what you and your family are going through after such a loss. My mother is everything you said and so much more to me. I can't even imagine my life without her. If anything you have made me realize how short time is and how we need to let those around us know how much we love and need them. Some days I feel if I lost my mom, my world would completely shut down. A lot of people don't understand this, but it seems you do. You have shown me that life goes on and that one needs to be strong. I pray for your family and hope that you can be a profound influence on your childrens' lives as your mom was in yours.
Greg-
I have just come back hear to catch up and have seen this news. Words are inadequate at a time like this. I am very sorry for that you have lost your mother here on earth but as you know you will see her again one day.
Prayers for you and yoru family.
I never even met her, yet, oddly, I will miss checking in on her, on her struggle and her family. Thanks for this. Please remember that you are a part of all that you have met, and your mother lives on and on in all of you for always and for all ways.
Greg,
I want to add to what you so beautifully wrote regarding the funeral and describing who your Mom was, and what she meant to you.
I know that you are all aware of this, but she spoke with such pride for all you kids. There was always something new for her to share, and her eyes lit up when she spoke of you and her grandchildren.
The day your Mom officially retired at the hospital, unbeknownst to me, she put a photo of herself and several members of the family, on my locker. It had been on hers for so long, and I felt she gave me a gift that day, as she so often did. It will always remain there, along with the little sad face she glued on the corner.
Blessed be, Patty
Greg-I only met your mother once, when you and Kelly were married, but I have learned from this blog what a truly amazing woman she was. You and your family have faced this challenge with such strength and courage, you are all truly an inspiration. May you find comfort in your wonderful memories of her, and know that you and Kelly are wonderful parents based on the role models you have had. My sincerest sympathies to you and your family, please know that you will continue to be in my prayers.
Sharyn
I ended up on this blog through a link from The Fold. While I do not know you or your family I must say that God has used you and your suffering to show me that I need to work on my relationship with my own mother. Although this is no comfort to you, it is so evident how much each of your siblings loved you mother and the love she had for each of you is also clearly known. While my mother is one of the best gifts I have been given on this earth, I have taken her for granted and wronged her in many ways. But God is graceful and has shown me this through your mom's story and I vow to make changes with HIS help. Praise God!
You are in my prayers.
A sister in Christ
Funny how things work out...I was just about to go out and buy your cd, so I thought I would get on your website and check it out first. The quote about your mother caught my eye, so I clicked on it and read everything that you've said. I too just recently lost a loved one. My Grandpa died on the 29th. I've had a very hard time coping with it. The funeral was yesterday, and seeing him after the service just seemed to break me. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, & I know that it won't be the last time I'll have to go through something like this. Reading your blogs though, and seeing how strong your faith is, has lifted mine in a time that I thought I was losing it. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a parent, but losing my Grandpa has not been easy at all. I can say that I understand what you're going through, and I truly admire your strength. My prayers go out to you and your family. Your mother sounded like a wonderful lady. Perhaps she and my Grandpa will cross paths in Heaven...Thank you for posting your blogs and openly talking about it. That takes courage, and I happened to come across it right on time. God bless you.
Your family will be in my prayers.
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