5 years

5 years today. Half a decade. I had something long and poignant written out but I just don't want to be the person that wallows in grief, and it's so easy to do that on this anniversary each year. You wouldn't want that, and neither do I. Instead I am just going to be grateful that the pain we endured 5 years ago is behind us, and we have been able to do a lot of healing. I want to at least honor your memory by posting here today and saying: I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE HERE. Life has gone on Mom, but I will never go a day without thinking of you, and missing you, and wondering how things would be different if you were a part of our every day life. I tell Cameron about you all the time, what an amazing, beautiful person his grandma was. You mean the world to me, always and forever. I love you so much.

Forever Bonded

Hi Mom,

Today is mine and Rocky's 5 year wedding anniversary, and I can't help but think a lot about you today. I can't believe it was 5 years ago that we had our little wedding service at Elmhurst Hospital chapel. If there is anything that gives me peace about having such happy and sad events in my life so intertwined, it's that you were able to be there to see us get married. What warms my heart is that it was Rocky's idea. I don't know that it ever occurred to me to really thank him for that until this anniversary. Making sure you got to see me walk down the aisle, and that we had you beside us as we exchanged our vows was just as important to him as it was to me. He really loved you, not that it's any surprise. All your children-in-law loved you so much.

I have come to realize that my wedding anniversary and your passing will always kind of go hand in hand in my head and my heart. But I've also come to embrace it, as odd as that sounds. It's our bond. Forever. You, me, and Rocky. I feel like God chose us for that to make us stronger. I had no idea how strong I could be until we made it through September of 2006. I love you so much mom. I'm so thankful you got to see me be a wife, even if only for a couple of weeks. I wish so badly you could see me as a mother, and know Cameron. Love isn't a big enough word to describe my feelings for that sweet, funny little guy. You would adore him and I know he would adore you right back.

Thank you for always being in my heart. I love you.

Becky