The Little Things

I realized this morning that I never quite appreciated how awesome it was to just be able to pick up the phone and call you. Yesterday it was something so small and simple, like driving past the new Elmhurst Hospital and picturing you so excited to go visit your old work friends there. I can almost hear you excitedly describing how big and beautiful it is. I just wanted to call you and chat about it.

There's so much in my life I wish I could share with you, Mom. Things you'd be so excited and supportive of. Today it's weight loss. You were always so big on healthy eating and proud of your Weight Watchers achievements, so I decided in order to get rid of some post baby pounds once and for all I would join. That was about 3 months ago, and today I hit my 10% goal. I was so excited, and all I wanted to do was call you. Achingly so. Sigh. Every week when I go weigh in I think of you and how I'd love to jump in the car and call you to let you know how it went. But when it's an extra big loss, or a goal reached, or something that makes me giggle with delight, the one person I want to share it with more than anyone is you.

Today we are celebrating the birthdays of Ryan, Jack, and Dawson - three of your grandchildren that you never got to meet. That is just so surreal to me. They don't know what they're missing. In two months we'll celebrate Cameron's first birthday too, and I know I'm going to miss you. You were such an amazing grandma, and the kids who did get to know you, still remember you and talk about you, and love you so much. You will never be forgotten.

Anyway, just sitting here thinking about all these little things I wish you could be here to share. I miss your face, and your smile, and your voice. But I especially miss your kind and loving heart, and it's huge place in my life. I can't wait to see you again someday. I know you'll be even more beautiful and perfect than you were here on earth. I love you so much!