Good-bye, for now

First off, I would just like to thank everyone who showed our family so much support over the past few months. It has been almost exactly two months since my mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. During that time, we have gone through every emotion possible, and unfortunately, it has ended with extreme sadness. All I keep telling people is that we thank God that we had a two month warning that mom was leaving us. I don't think anyone was ready to see her go, and if it would have happened suddenly, it would have been devastating for a lot of people. I thank God we had two months to prepare ourselves.

We were all absolutely floored at the funeral as we saw tangible proof of just how many lives mom has touched. The funeral home where the memorial service was held, was literally busting at the seams as the crowd overflowed into the adjacent chapels. I think the service was exactly what mom would have wanted: Jesus-centered, just as she lived her life.

During the past few days, I cannot even count the amount of times that people have asked me if I would be OK. The answer, of course is yes. I think everyone in my family will eventually be OK. However, this experience has changed each of our lives in a countless number of ways. It's just inevitable when you lose someone who touched so many different parts of your life.

For me, my mom was my security blanket. No matter what happened to me, I knew that everything would be OK, and all it would take is a phone call to my mom. I no longer have that luxury. It was one-stop-shopping with my mom. The one person I could turn to, no matter what, and get what I needed.

She was my doctor when I was feeling sick. She was the pediatrician when the babies just wouldn't fall asleep at night. She was my #1 cheerleader at the marathon. She was Miss Hannegan when my daughter wanted to play Annie. She was my social planner for all the family events. She was my friend when I needed to vent. She was my handyman, when I just couldn't get something to work. She was my chef, every Tuesday night for dinner. She was my minister when I had doubts. She was my sounding board when I just couldn't figure something out. But most importantly, she was my mom, every day of my life.

Will I be OK? Yes, I will be, but I won't be the same. It just isn't possible. I love you mom and I miss you. Thankfully, this isn't a good-bye. I will see you again someday.