From Her Loving Husband...

My Dad asked me to post this for him:

"Had it any been but she, And that very face, There had been at least ere this, A dozen dozen in her place." (from a poem by John Suckling 1609-1642, the last stanza)

I remember reading this poem to Jeanette a long time ago and thinking how perfectly this applied to us meeting, and somehow knowing it was not the "accidental" meeting it could so easily have been. She truly was was a "Phantom of Delight" in every way, and as we all know she just got better every day. I believe that God too "delights" in people like Jeanette (Psalm 18:19) in much the same way we do, in fact, I'm sure even more. "In hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised before the world began." (Titus 1:2).

Happy Birthday Mom

Today my mom would have been 61. It's still hard to believe that she isn't here to whip up a Tuesday night dinner and celebrate it with us. Last year on Mom's big 60th we took her to Bennigan's for a big family dinner, then we went to Doc Ryan's for a drink. It was so much fun, everyone was in great spirits. I still can't believe this was only a couple of months before such a grim diagnosis. She never let it affect her quality of life, at least from what we could see. She pushed herself until the very end. And she made memories with us in those final months that we will never forget, despite what was happening inside of her. Just one of a million examples of what an entirely selfless person she was.

It was kind of ironic, when I left the house this morning, it was surprisingly cool and breezy... a refreshing relief amidst so many hot & humid days. It reminded me of my mom and the effect she had on everyone who loved her. No matter how bad things might seem at times, one conversation with my mom and in rushed the relief of that breeze I felt today. She was always there to encourage, love, and comfort... a true breath of fresh air when we needed it. It seemed so appropriate that her birthday be a day like today, after the brutal heat of yesterday.

When I look to the sky, and I feel that cool breeze on my face, I know she's with me. Her silent presence will always be in my heart, until we meet again in Heaven. I miss her like crazy, but I still feel her comfort and love every day. And I thank God for that.

Happy Birthday, Mom. You are SO loved and missed, every day.

The Best Dream I Ever Had

Mom,

You came to me in the best dream I ever had a couple days ago. I can't get it out of my head. It was the most amazing, comforting thing that's happened to me since you left this world. You got into bed next to me. Rocky had gone to work. It was SO REAL. You were beautiful. You said you would lay with me for a while. I told you I loved you. You said you knew. You said you didn't want me to be sad. We said "I miss you" at the same time to each other. You had the longest eyelashes. I told you that you looked beautiful, because you did. You pulled me close to you and hugged me, and kissed me on my face... I FELT it, Mom. I felt that kiss on my face. I was under the thinnest veil of sleep. I said "it's like a dream", out loud in my sleep, which is what woke me. All I could do when my eyes opened was cry and say thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord... for letting you visit me, if only in a dream. You're the greatest person I ever knew, and I thank God for giving us to each other, and for every moment we had together. I love you and miss you with every beat of my heart, Mom.

Love Always,
Your Baby Girl (you said it, not me:)